life consulting

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What to do when you hate the life you love

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Feeling conflicted about the life you lead can be an overwhelming experience. You might find yourself in a paradoxical situation where you deeply love certain aspects of your life while simultaneously despising others. It's a complex emotional tug-of-war, but there are steps you can take to navigate through it.

Firstly, acknowledge your feelings without judgment. It's okay to feel this way, and you're not alone in experiencing such conflicting emotions. Next, pinpoint what exactly it is that you love and hate about your life. Understanding these aspects can provide clarity and help you identify areas for improvement.

Once you've identified the sources of your dissatisfaction, take action. Focus on cultivating more of what you love and gradually work towards addressing the aspects you dislike. This might involve making changes in your career, relationships, or lifestyle habits. Remember, change doesn't happen overnight, so be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout the process.

Additionally, seek support from trusted friends, family members, a life consultant or therapist. Having someone to talk to can offer valuable insights and emotional support as you navigate this journey of self-discovery and growth.

Ultimately, finding balance and contentment in life is an ongoing journey. By embracing the complexity of your emotions and taking proactive steps towards positive change, you can create a life that aligns more closely with your desires and values.

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When You Can't Help But Help: The Internal Struggle of an Enneagram 2

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Do you often feel a connection to the people around you, driven by an innate desire to nurture and support? Do you find a sense of peace and purpose in helping family, friends … and even strangers?

If that sounds familiar, you might resonate with the traits of an Enneagram 2, often called The Helper! BUT, before you don your superhero cape and proceed to try and save the world one person at a time, let's explore why being an Enneagram 2 comes with its own set of challenges …

First and foremost, let's talk about boundaries. Enneagram 2s have an uncanny ability to sense when someone needs help, and they're quick to offer a helping hand. However, this can sometimes lead to a blurred line between where their responsibilities end and where others' responsibilities begin (think enabling bad behaviors/codependence, etc.). Saying no or stepping back can often feel like an impossible task for an Enneagram 2 when their heart yearns to ease the burdens of those around them.

Then, there's the issue of self-worth. Enneagram 2s often find validation and fulfillment through helping others. While this altruistic nature is admirable, it can also become a double-edged sword. What happens when the helping hand isn't reciprocated? Enneagram 2s may grapple with feelings of resentment, bitterness or inadequacy, struggling to find value in themselves outside of their role as a caretaker.

Self-awareness and self-care is often a struggle for an Enneagram 2. They are so adept at tending to the needs of others that they can easily neglect their own well-being in the process. Taking time for self-reflection and self-nurturing can feel like a foreign concept when their focus is constantly outward-facing.

Additionally, Enneagram 2s often unwittingly train the people around them to expect care without needing to reciprocate. This can be problematic, especially as a frustrated OR growing Enneagram 2 might look to others to aid him/her in striding toward that needed self-care or self-reflection.

Despite the challenges, being an Enneagram 2 isn't without its rewards. Their boundless compassion, empathy, and generosity truly make the world a brighter place. They're the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, and the unwavering support system for those in need.

As with all personality types and tendencies, a healthy self-examination and understanding can lead to less struggle and more balance. So, to all the Enneagram 2s out there, remember to notice yourselves. Your capacity to love and care for others is a gift, but don't forget to extend that same love and care to yourself. After all, you can't pour from an empty cup.

Need a little help walking that path toward balance and happiness? Get in touch — three months can change your world!

Why New Year Resolutions Don't Work

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Here's WHY your new year resolutions didn’t stick:

𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 “𝗪𝐇𝐘.”

Or, maybe you thought you did, BUT it actually wasn’t compelling enough.

Or, maybe it WAS compelling, but your brain wasn’t convinced.

When your brain isn’t convinced, doing a hard thing consistently (like changing habits, etc.) is dang near IMPOSSIBLE.

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Convincing your brain = rewiring your brain. 🧠

Our brains are super efficient. They like to learn a thing and move it to autopilot. Think about it: When’s the last time you had to think about breathing … or placing one foot in front of the other to walk?

You don't. That's because our brain develops strong neural pathways as we habitually do, feel, experience, etc. SO THAT we can do, feel, and be AUTOMATICALLY — without thinking.

It’s all very cool, but also not always beneficial. Especially when our brains are automatically sending us unhelpful thoughts or down emotional rabbit holes or allowing us to believe we don’t deserve better than what we’re used to experiencing.

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So, HOW do we rewire our brains?

1️⃣ Experience different.

2️⃣ Imagine different.

Sensory and imagery experiences are kind of like nitro 🏎 for the neurons that relay (and connect) information within our brain.

See that picture behind me in the picture above? That’s MY WHY. The people God’s given me to hold close and love on. I’m in that picture, too.

That didn’t used to be my WHY. As a result, there have been times in my past where I failed at goal setting. Ideas I had that I let totally fall flat. Promises I made that I just didn’t keep. Like many of you, I’ve done the pendulum swing of extreme doing to doing basically nothing.

And why? Because each and every time, my WHY was influenced by or inhibited by old ways of thinking and doing.

To get to a place of true change, I had to challenge some inner demons 👿 … self-talk that kept me perfectionistic but ineffective and unhappy. A lack of self-care that pointed to a pattern of self-reliance. A lack of self-esteem that kept me self-absorbed. (Just to name a few …)

I challenged it all by choosing to experience different and imagine different. Over and over again. 🔁

Practically, that looked like a season of therapy, opening myself up to vulnerability in relationships, choosing out of toxic systems, allowing myself to ask for and accept help, putting together vision boards, creating and maintaining a list of wins, wrestling with existential questions, allowing myself to dream, saying “thank you” when complimented (instead of working to minimize or dismiss them), putting what's true and important in my life in front of me again and again and again - pictures, affirmations, etc. ... and so much more.

My brain got rewired. It’s STILL being rewired. Every day I choose to experience different and imagine different than I’ve always known.

As a result, I feel different. I do different. I think differently.

And, as a result of that? I LOVE MY LIFE. 🥰

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💭 PONDER: Can you say the same? If not, fill out the form to book a Discovery Consult. Let’s get started rewiring your brain!