Coaching

,

The Impact of Subtle vs. Sudden: Childhood Emotional Neglect

,

Imagine growing up in a household where your physical needs were met, but your emotional world was largely overlooked or minimized …

  • You cried and were told to “knock it off” or “suck it up” or, worse yet, no one asked you what was wrong.

  • You got excited about something and no one noticed, or worse yet, they noticed but never joined in or were curious about your joy.

If this was your world, you likely experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) and you’re not alone. In fact, the majority of high functioning, but unhappy people I’ve met through my work as a counselor and life consultant have experienced some level of CEN.

When emotional needs aren't consistently recognized or validated during childhood, the impact is expansive. Childhood Emotional Neglect isn’t about dramatic events or traumatic experiences; rather, it's about what didn't happen. The absence of consistent emotional support and validation in childhood can leave deep scars that reverberate into adulthood. Individuals who have experienced CEN may find themselves struggling to notice, understand, AND express their emotions. They might feel disconnected from themselves and others, leading to challenges in forming and maintaining relationships.

Moreover, CEN can take a toll on self-esteem. When our emotions are ignored or dismissed during childhood, we may internalize the message that our feelings don't matter. This can lead to a persistent sense of inadequacy or unworthiness that follows us into adulthood, impacting various facets of our lives.

But here's the silver lining: awareness is the first step toward healing. By acknowledging the impact of CEN on our lives, we can begin to unravel its effects and reclaim our emotional well-being. It's a journey of self-discovery and healing—one that requires courage, compassion, and support.

So, if you resonate with the experiences of Childhood Emotional Neglect, know that there is hope. Reach out OR read an awesome book on the topic! You deserve to heal, to reclaim your emotional vitality, and to live a life filled with connection, authenticity, and joy.

,

What to do when you hate the life you love

,

Feeling conflicted about the life you lead can be an overwhelming experience. You might find yourself in a paradoxical situation where you deeply love certain aspects of your life while simultaneously despising others. It's a complex emotional tug-of-war, but there are steps you can take to navigate through it.

Firstly, acknowledge your feelings without judgment. It's okay to feel this way, and you're not alone in experiencing such conflicting emotions. Next, pinpoint what exactly it is that you love and hate about your life. Understanding these aspects can provide clarity and help you identify areas for improvement.

Once you've identified the sources of your dissatisfaction, take action. Focus on cultivating more of what you love and gradually work towards addressing the aspects you dislike. This might involve making changes in your career, relationships, or lifestyle habits. Remember, change doesn't happen overnight, so be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout the process.

Additionally, seek support from trusted friends, family members, a life consultant or therapist. Having someone to talk to can offer valuable insights and emotional support as you navigate this journey of self-discovery and growth.

Ultimately, finding balance and contentment in life is an ongoing journey. By embracing the complexity of your emotions and taking proactive steps towards positive change, you can create a life that aligns more closely with your desires and values.

,

When You Can't Help But Help: The Internal Struggle of an Enneagram 2

,

Do you often feel a connection to the people around you, driven by an innate desire to nurture and support? Do you find a sense of peace and purpose in helping family, friends … and even strangers?

If that sounds familiar, you might resonate with the traits of an Enneagram 2, often called The Helper! BUT, before you don your superhero cape and proceed to try and save the world one person at a time, let's explore why being an Enneagram 2 comes with its own set of challenges …

First and foremost, let's talk about boundaries. Enneagram 2s have an uncanny ability to sense when someone needs help, and they're quick to offer a helping hand. However, this can sometimes lead to a blurred line between where their responsibilities end and where others' responsibilities begin (think enabling bad behaviors/codependence, etc.). Saying no or stepping back can often feel like an impossible task for an Enneagram 2 when their heart yearns to ease the burdens of those around them.

Then, there's the issue of self-worth. Enneagram 2s often find validation and fulfillment through helping others. While this altruistic nature is admirable, it can also become a double-edged sword. What happens when the helping hand isn't reciprocated? Enneagram 2s may grapple with feelings of resentment, bitterness or inadequacy, struggling to find value in themselves outside of their role as a caretaker.

Self-awareness and self-care is often a struggle for an Enneagram 2. They are so adept at tending to the needs of others that they can easily neglect their own well-being in the process. Taking time for self-reflection and self-nurturing can feel like a foreign concept when their focus is constantly outward-facing.

Additionally, Enneagram 2s often unwittingly train the people around them to expect care without needing to reciprocate. This can be problematic, especially as a frustrated OR growing Enneagram 2 might look to others to aid him/her in striding toward that needed self-care or self-reflection.

Despite the challenges, being an Enneagram 2 isn't without its rewards. Their boundless compassion, empathy, and generosity truly make the world a brighter place. They're the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, and the unwavering support system for those in need.

As with all personality types and tendencies, a healthy self-examination and understanding can lead to less struggle and more balance. So, to all the Enneagram 2s out there, remember to notice yourselves. Your capacity to love and care for others is a gift, but don't forget to extend that same love and care to yourself. After all, you can't pour from an empty cup.

Need a little help walking that path toward balance and happiness? Get in touch — three months can change your world!

,

Engaging Your Valentine Using the Enneagram

,

Valentine's Day, love it or hate it — it’s happening and most of us could use a little help when it comes to loving our loved ones well, right? If you know your Valentine’s Enneagram number, these reminders may help you to tailor the day’s expressions to best spread the love …

For our organized Enneagram 1 pals, let's make sure everything aligns with their values, from eco-friendly outings to meticulously planned surprises.

Our sweet Enneagram 2 friends thrive on affection, so let's shower them with love and appreciation, making sure they feel like the stars they are!

To our ambitious Enneagram 3 buddies, let's acknowledge their stellar achievements and plan a date that's both fun and goal-oriented - we're talking the ultimate power couple vibes!

Ah, our creative Enneagram 4’s! Let's indulge their romantic side with heartfelt gestures and experiences that tap into their unique sensibilities - think poetry readings and star-gazing sessions.

And for our wise Enneagram 5 buddies, let's keep things low-key yet intellectually stimulating, with museum visits or cozy nights in filled with deep conversations and endless possibilities.

For our loyal Enneagram 6 loves, let's make sure they feel secure and appreciated with set plans and plenty of reassurance - a steady rock in the sea of romance!

Now, our adventurous Enneagram 7 friends thrive on fun, so let's surprise them with spontaneous adventures and laughter-filled escapades - the sky's the limit!

For our bold Enneagram 8 buddies, honesty is the best policy - let's show them we're all in with bold declarations of love and thrilling activities that get the heart racing!

And last but certainly not least, our peace-loving Enneagram 9 loves! Let's create a chill and harmonious atmosphere where they feel understood and truly seen - a tranquil haven in the chaos of life!

So, whether you're a romantic strategist or just trying to get better at this greeting card holiday, tailor your Valentine's Day plans to match your loved ones' Enneagram numbers, and you’re going to be on the right path!

Not sure what your loved one’s Enneagram number is? Let’s find out — book a couple’s consult and begin a really fun journey to increased connection!