habit formation

The Subconscious Mind Matters

Anybody else resonate with this, or is it just me?!

Seriously though, it’s experiences like these that can teach us a lot about how our brains work. They’re designed to be efficient. What our brain CAN put on autopilot, it’s going to put on autopilot. For example, breathing, walking, chewing ... most of us don’t actually have to think through how to do those things, right?

That’s because when we repeat something — behaviors, thoughts, or feelings — our brain takes the cue and works to make that repetition easy to recall and continue. Our brain does that for necessary, life-sustaining behaviors, as well as any good, healthy habits we may set out to build. However, our brain doesn’t discriminate in its drive for efficiency. That means our not so helpful ways of being and doing also can easily become automatic.

PONDER: Have you ever felt like you didn’t have control over how you felt or reacted to something (or someone)? Ever find yourself stuck in a thought pattern you can’t quite shake?

Frankly, you may be feeling less than awesome BECAUSE your brain is so good at what it does. 

Fortunately, we can leverage your brain’s awesomeness for positive change, as well.

Want to know how? In a word: neuroplasticity. The process? An intentional, conscious one. It starts with getting clarity on what automatic processes aren’t helping you anymore.

Make an appointment to get started on changing your brain … and, ultimately, your life for the better!

Counseling is a Good Idea: Here's Why ...

We humans have an amazing capacity for NOT putting two and two together. It doesn't matter who you are — genius, successful, experienced, academic OR not — you miss something. Lots of somethings. We walk around with blinders on.

I'm no exception. Case and point:

I've always known I was a "southpaw." But, until recently, I thought eating and writing were the only things I did with my left hand. Turns out I brush my teeth left-handed, too. It took me more than 30 years to note something I've been doing for more than 30 years. Crazy, right? The discovery came out of a casual discussion with my in-laws about my left-handedness. Someone probed me about my habits and, forced to think about it, I was astonished by what I discovered.

I think we all do a lot of things out of habit. Whether it's muscle memory or instinct or learned coping behavior, we do an awful lot in life — spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically — without thinking about it or being aware of it. We don't always connect the dots. That's not always a bad thing, but it can be. That's where I think therapy can be helpful — in the cluing us in and clarifying of things.

No, you don't need to know that you brush your teeth with your left hand, but it may help you to know:

  • that you're attracted to chaotic relationships because that's what you grew up navigating.
  • that being uncomfortable is comforting to you and that that's why you sabotage all things good in your life.
  • that you eat excessively (or starve) because food is the one thing in life you've ever felt you had any power or control over.
  • that you drink alcohol to avoid being socially awkward because being socially awkward makes you feel what you've always felt and believed about yourself — that you're alone and unworthy of love and attention.
  • that [insert YOUR story here] ...

All of it, any of it, might help you to know that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE.

I think therapy is a lot about that stuff. Counseling is about the exploration of what we do and why we do it and why it matters. More importantly, therapy is about the hope generated by the exploration of self, life and God — a brand new opportunity to respond accordingly, to begin again … to be transformed.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
— Proverbs 9:10

Awareness is a requisite first step toward change. So, here's to taking the blinders off? Join me for a consultation session!